Sketches on screen

I'm Gonna Be A Good Friend!

2006-05-06T10:51:00.000+08:00

The title pretty much sums up what my mission is at this present point and in the future as well. As I've mentioned in my previous post, this topic on being a good friend deserves my full attention... So sit tight, as I take you on this crucial journey in everyone's life!

Friends. What is it that comes to your mind when I mention the word, "Friends" ?
Take a moment to think about it.

Perhaps,
your close buddy?
school classmates?
college mates?
church friends?
accountability partner?
sibling?
parents?
the TV series?

Hmmm... or could it be....

Loyalty?
Maturity?
Supportive?
Loving?
Caring?
Great personality?
Non-judgemental?
Understanding?
Trust?
Respect?
A great sense of humour?
Openness and honesty?
Compatibility?

What is it that comes to our minds when think of OUR friends?
How do WE treat OUR friends?
Do we treat them with the qualities mentioned above?
Or the total opposite?

One of the things that first came to my mind was the relationship between David and Jonathan.

David and Jonathan are what one might call "perfect brothers" - there is a deep sense of commitment to each other, and a strong sense of love between these two men. There is complete trust present; both are open and honest with each other, and each displays unselfish commitment to the other.
This is not homosexuality; it is a deep friendship where the two are essentially "soul-mates". 1 Samuel 18:1 tells us that "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul", and again in verse 3: "Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul"

Their friendship was not affected in any way by the fact that David would be the next king. Jonathan not only recognises and respects this, but encourages David when he humbly pledges his loyalty to David. "And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armour, even to his sword and his bow and his belt." (1 Samuel 18:4.)

I would say that the main qualities that describe a good friend are loyalty, trust, respect, sincerity, companionship, reliability, love, openness and honesty.

Faithfulness is also a very good quality, as is the ability to listen.
I remember a definition of listening I heard once is,
"Not thinking what you're going to say when the other person has stopped talking".

A sense of fun and humour is also important, as is the need to make time for each other. To simply be myself when I'm with friends, and not feel that they are trying to change me into something or someone I'm not. I'd like to think that I don't manipulate my friends in that manner either!

I find myself sometimes supporting my friends through a crisis, and when it's my turn to have a crisis, they are usually there for me also. This all serves to strengthen the friendship.

Unselfishness and mutual understanding are also very important, and usually good friends will be compatible with each other.

I believe it is also important to honour our words we give to our friends as much as it is possible for us to do so. This does not mean we make rash promises though! Shared or common experiences can often have a "binding" effect on two people. As Christians we can pray for our friends, and all of us can offer support in times of trouble.

But, what about when one of you does something wrong and the other needs to issue a rebuke for it? Are we going to be strong enough to tell a close dear friend off? Or are we going to let them seemingly get away with it (for the sake of preserving the friendship)?

Restoration should always be done in love, never with an attitude of vindictiveness. Strong friendships will be able to take and receive rebukings, apologies and forgiveness will be on offer all round, and the friendship can continue with that incident put away firmly into the past, where it belongs having been sorted out first (and not glossed over).

This is not daydreaming or wishful thinking; however both parties may need to work at the resolution and talk things through in an attempt to come to an understanding of the other's position, and this may well take time in some cases.

The test of a friendship isn't that nothing ever goes wrong between you, but what you both do when something does go wrong!

I feel you know where you stand with people who possess these qualities:
think of any good friend you have and ask yourself,

"Why are we such good friends?"

and the chances are you'll find a good number of these qualities present.

Now, that we know what is important, it's never too late to work on the specific areas to keep our friendships STRONG!

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in Unity! ... For there the Lord commanded the blessing - Life forevermore" (Psalm 133:1, 3b).

Updates, updates, updates.... =)

2006-05-06T10:41:00.000+08:00

FuyoH! That's the first word that comes to my mind when I think of college...
Hehe.. well, It's just been my first week of college, met my lecturers, seen the course structure, toured the college and bla bla bla.. College newbie - still getting used to the whole atmosphere thing. It IS definitely different from school, especially when I've to start from scratch in finding friends to mix with, digesting the topics I learn on a 5-day week. It gave me a headache at first but now I think it's improving.. It's only been the first week anyway. I'll have like so many months more to adapt and find a comfy spot. :)

Hmmm...what else? Oh yar, Youth Friday Cg just kicked off yesterday night!
I would say it was all good...except for a little glitch on some part. But overall, I dare say it was a success! I'll have a more detailed update on the topic we discussed in the next post... Cause it deserves my full dedication and attention specifically for one post. Oh well, nothing much left to update on my personal life for now..

So, I'll see you when I see you!

Just some easter photos

2006-04-25T07:11:00.000+08:00

Post-Easter Syndrome

2006-04-17T20:35:00.000+08:00

This is bad, really really bad...
Feeling all lethargic, bored, a sudden loss of responsibilities = BAD!!
Well, I suppose I'll take a lil' while more before I actually begin to start up on my daily chores and stuff...
Overall, I'd say we did pretty well for easter! Kudos to all who were involved whether directly or indirectly. =) I'll post up some pictures pretty soon about easter when I've got the time.. Well, this week is gonna be a casual, slow, leisure week for me. So I Should have the time..

On a totally different note, college is gonna start soon... Whoohoo!!
wait, I do have mixed feelings about it.. sounds pretty messed up, I know.
I'm happy I'm finally heading in MY new phase in life, not getting my brains all rusty after that long SPM break, and having new atmospheres, friends, lectures, subjects, classes and challenges too. Which is getting me all excited........... Cause I do like 'NEW' things...but that doesnt mean I might like change... :) ironic huh?

But then again, I'll miss my holidays at home, lazing around, doing my leisure and favourite stuff, going at my own pace... gosh, killjoy I'd say. In case you think what I do at home is unproductive, think again!
hehe, basically just catching up on time with my family and friends, learning real independant living skills which includes Driving! haha....

Well, I've pretty much lost the spark once in awhile to update my blog, which explains its dead-ness... But I'll try my best to at least make it a photo blog, cause I am not a woman with many words. Well, at least I don't like writing too much.. Talking is much easier... =)
Well, maybe the only exception would be the poems I write, which are pretty lacking lately too.. Will probably jumpstart 'em back in college during those boring classes and breaks in between.

Alrightey, I shall stop here for today... Tired from dance class and I've gotta head out for dinner soon! Tata everyone, well If anyone is reading my entry...

Chinese New Year songs

2006-01-27T02:39:00.000+08:00

Just happened to stumble on this while surfing the net...
Some english Chinese New Year songs or poems, whatever you call it..
'Lion Dance Song', ' Chinese Hello Song', etc.
Quite a laugh... [well, at least I find it funny]
Check it out for yourself!
http://www.canteach.ca/elementary/songspoems54.html

It's Chinese New Year

2006-01-23T04:57:00.000+08:00

Time has really gone by so fast... I can still remember having the creeps about examinations and stuff like that. Even Christmas is gone now, so has the New Year 2006. I'll be really looking forward for the happenings in this new year. As it begins a new phase in my life and also not forgetting endless serious decisions to make my mind up for.

Well, at the meantime it's still 'goyang kaki' time for me until results are out....
Eating, sleeping and playing has been part of my daily itinerary for me..
Though it sounds a lil' tad boring, but really, it does get me busy everyday.. =)

Since it's the Chinese New Year mood, I will post this one in red...
So, I would like to wish everyone a safe journey back home or wherever you came from this Chinese New Year!
Have fun collecting 'ang pows' or maybe for some, have fun giving 'ang pows' away! =)

It is always good to give and receive.....

Overcoming fear

2005-10-06T04:45:00.000+08:00

"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up" (Proverbs 12:25, NIV).

"I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears" (Psalm 34:4).

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:6-7)

"Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" (Luke 12:22-26, NIV).

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God" (Psalm 42:5).

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones" (Proverbs 3:5-8).

"...the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:26-28).

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19).

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13).

The apostle Paul found his strength in God, He reminds us that, "I ...have ...been in prison ...frequently, been flogged ...severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. ...I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. ...Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn? If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. ...I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. ...[God] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 11:23-12:10).

"So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:6).

"...put your hope in the LORD both now and forevermore." (Psalm 131:1)

The possible causes of anxiety and fear are many: Conflict, health problems, dangerous situations, death, unmet needs, spiritual problems, false beliefs, etc.

"According to the Bible, there is nothing wrong with realistically acknowledging and trying to deal with the identifiable problems of life. To ignore danger is fooling and wrong. But it is also wrong, as well as unhealthy, to be immobilized by excessive worry. Such worry must be committed to prayer to God, who can release us from paralyzing fear or anxiety, and free us to deal realistically with the needs and welfare both of others and of ourselves." (Dr. Gary R. Collins, Christian Counseling, p. 66.)

Some general, common sense suggestions for those weighed down with fear, anxiety or worry...

SIN IN YOUR LIFE - Sometimes fear and anxiety are the result of one's own sin and guilt. If you have committed a sin or done anything evil, your fear and anxiety is probably God and your own conscience trying to get your attention. You need to repent, confess your sin, seek God's forgiveness, and set it right.

SLEEP - Humans generally need 8 or 9 hours of sleep per day. Sleep deprivation can increase anxiety. Get enough rest. If you cannot sleep, you may need to seek God's help and perhaps that of a physician.

BE MORE REALISTIC - Many people are worried and anxious about events that will never actually will happen to them. Relax. Focus on today. Take life one day at a time.

LISTEN to relaxing, soothing music. There is some great Christian music available that can help you focus on God and leave your fears and worries behind. It may also help to listen to good Christian speakers and teachers.

FUN - If at all possible, do something that you enjoy. It is good to get some recreation on a regular basis. Take a break. Get your mind off your fears and worries, and have some fun.

TALK to someone. Don't hold all the anxiety inside. It can be a big relief to share your fears and worries with someone else -- a friend, relative, pastor or counselor. If fear and anxiety is an ongoing problem in your life, schedule a regular time each week to talk with someone.

TAKE ACTION - If there is something practical and wise that you can do to alleviate the problem or avoid needless danger, take action. Don't put it off. Procrastination will generally raise your anxiety level.

EXERCISE - Medical studies show that exercise can help lower anxiety. If you are healthy enough to exercise, try it. Regular brisk walks, running, swimming or other exercises can be a real stress reducer.

"Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work" (2 Thes. 2:16-17).

Mary, Did you know?

2005-10-02T00:46:00.000+08:00

Found this rather interesting

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy
would one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy
would save our sons and daughters?

Did you know,
that your baby boy has come to make you new?
And the child that you delivered,
would soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy
would give sight to the blind man?

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy
would calm a storm with his hand?

Did you know,
that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby,
you've kissed the face of God.
Oh Mary, did you know?

The blind will see
The deaf will hear
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.

Oh Mary, did you know
that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
that your baby boy
will one day rule the nations?

Did you know,
that your baby boy
is Heaven's perfect lamb?
And the sleeping child you're holding,
is the great I AM.

Oh Mary. Oh Mary.

L.i.g.h.t.

2005-10-01T01:49:00.000+08:00

Experimental
scribbled by the scribbler

Experimental 2
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The little joys of life - Light!
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*speechless*
scribbled by the scribbler

Never alone

2005-09-30T17:55:00.000+08:00

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no
I needed you today
So, where did you go
You told me to call
Said you'd be there
And though I haven't seen you
Are you still there?

I cried out with no reply and
I can't feel you by my side
So I hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone

And though I cannot see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep reassurance
You placed in my life
We cannot separate
Cause you're a part of me
And though you're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

Fruits and Veg

2005-09-21T20:23:00.000+08:00

*yum*
scribbled by the scribbler

Fruits and vegetables are going to become my 'bestest' buddies ever for these few weeks.. not that I'm going to be a fruitcake like Leslie but fruits and vegetables are going to be in a great portion of my meals. Why? you may ask.. or perhaps, What's wrong with that?
haha.. well.. Let me explain.

Firstly, nothing is wrong with it just that I've got some revelation or perhaps a really 'bright idea' to slowly convert my meals to vegetables and fruits... To be exact, trying to live as healthy as possible. Considering the vast amount of people getting ill everyday and diseases which usually only occur to people of old age are now happening to people in their 20's... It's time to make a difference in my health. and I should be taking good care of my body as it is the Temple of the Holy Spirit too! =)

Well, this routine will probably be carried out only when I eat at home which would be like practically 5 days a week perhaps even more. Well, I definitely can't resist the scrumptious Penang food.. and perhaps some of my favourite food. So, I'd probably get to only eat other food on weekends and maybe make exceptions when I am out with my friends.

But I think, I won't be going out too often for these 2 months or so since it's my examination period.. So, I might as well give it a try... no harm, no loss either.
What's more? I'll get to save MONEY!!! $$$$!!! LOTS OF IT! hehe.. but yea, times are bad, I DO need to learn to save money...

*delicious*
scribbled by the scribbler

I would like to acknowledge my mummy's great cooking, simple and nice... To be frank, I don't really like vegetables and fruits sometimes.. but all Thanks to my mum, she has helped me see and taste the great wonders of my new variety of food... *yummy*
I have been eating vegetables and fruits all this while in case you were wondering.. but it hasn't been what I would prefer most of the time.. More like cause I just needed to consume some fibre if not I'll get constipated or something.. Hahaa... =)

So there, I hope I'll really be able to carry out my mission so to speak within these few months...
I'm worried I might get bored but well, It's GOOD for me!
Well, if Daniel can survive eating only this, I'm sure I can too! (hmmm... praying more while carrying out my mission sounds like a pretty good idea now too!.. I shall do that too!)
Yay! that means I'll be both spiritually and physically healthy! I'm beginning to think this is really the smartest idea I've ever got... Well, I'm not saying I don't need poultry but I think you pretty much get what I'm trying to convey. I can still obtain my protein from other food as some people do comment that I'm still a growing child.. ( sigh.. I still look like a kid I suppose )

Anyway, tomorrow shall be my OFFICIAL FLAG-OFF DAY for
MISSION VEG-FRU-RIT! ( vegetables, fruits and Spirit)
-TO BE HEALTHY PHYSICALLY AND SPIRITUALLY-

The beginning of trials..

2005-09-21T20:04:00.000+08:00

The day I've been waiting for has finally come! Well, I have not been waiting anxiously for it but yea, I suppose this is the time where I need to give my best trial shot for my papers.
Of course it won't determine much compared to the actuals.. but probably my results later will help me reevaluate myself and how much more revision I need to do and the chapters I need to focus more on. Hmm.. what else can I say? I hope I'm not like making anyone bored with my lamenting... =) Don't have much going on with my life though..
Till my next update then... =)

Trying....

2005-09-12T02:57:00.000+08:00

Due to certain circumstances... this current blog of mine will only be updated when I am free. Which would be rather rare as I have to devote some time to my studies. I will try my best to update this little space of mine on current issues or perhaps thoughts that cross my mind. Finals are coming soon, can't play anymore.

MOTIVATION :
Play less now, play more after everything's over
( everything as in my finals - SPM )

So, till whenever... for my next post! =)

over..Over...OVer...OVEr...OVER...

2005-08-29T00:37:00.000+08:00

Here comes and here goes the school holidays... I can't believe it, how quickly one week has passed me by and tomorrow is a school day... Argh... the dread... Well, of course it can't be compared to working life and stuff like that.. But you certainly have to admit that different life phases have different difficulties. It goes by the stages so to speak. Hmmm... the past week has been fun yet tiring but also a great experience altogether. Be it in terms of new revolutions in studying, making new friends, keeping close bonding sessions with my family and friends, doing new things, exploring the vast world with discernment of course. Well, the list goes on and on as we live day by day.

Announcing...............

2005-08-23T02:31:00.000+08:00

ANNOUNCING THE GRAND ARRIVAL OF THE MOST DISTINGUISHED, HONOURED AND LOVED GUEST OF THIS BLOG OF MINE...............

*drum rolls*

S C H O O L

H O L I D A Y S!!!!!!!!!!!!

So you would come

2005-08-21T12:07:00.000+08:00

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only son
Everything was done so you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only son
And everything was done so you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts
Broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done so You would come

Ever wondered how God forgives us with no pricetag? with no questions? no conditions?
It just needs a humble heart and willingness to accept the gift He has so generously given.
Given to everyone alive on the planet The ultimate gift to receive and to be shared as well.
Be it your past that's holding you back or perhaps fears of the present and future, I for one can testify that it is a journey and a road taken that you will never have to look back and regret but it is a walk of faith that not only blesses you richly but one that will enhance your life with meaning and purpose. A life full of unending faith, hope and love. An eye-opener some may say, as we view the world through a different perspective, giving different opinions and definitely changing our attitudes and impacts our lives greatly.
So, trust me on this one. It is a choice you have to make. I already made up my mind a long time ago. And have never regretted since.

The CauLiFLoWeR

2005-08-20T17:23:00.000+08:00

The images below are not for the faint-hearted.. seriously.. =) Well, anyway just a brief history about the images. That's supposed to be a normal white cauliflower but it turns out to be bad.. well it may be good also.. But I'm just not sure.. Either it's some kind of purple fungus growing on it or it's an extra plant or something. Well, if anyone knows anything about this, please do enlighten me. I really have no idea.. Looks a little disgusting upclose though.. So enjoy!

Prickly stuff??
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really weird stuff
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looks like purple leaves or something
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Price of freedom

2005-08-19T02:50:00.000+08:00

A nation with a vision
That focuses on advancement
A station for all nations
Which is the compliment

As far as we have reached today
Remember when, why, how and what
Let’s not keep history at pay
But treasure deep in our very hearts

In retrospect years ago
Before the time with no rich freedom
Man from afar as we know
Come here establishing the kingdom

Gold, gospel, glory
Is part of what that brought them here
This land that’s filled with money
They came and settled with fear

From there we have our cultures mixed
Baba and Nyonya came to exist
Out heritage are as hard as bricks
This land which is blissed

Far as we have come right now
What the nation has achieved
Through struggle pain and toil we plow
Cause in God we strongly believe

Mountains high we have conquered
Through stormy seas we have set sail
Not forgetting the lost we’ve shouldered
And the captives on bail

Games of international standard
We’ve hosted and shared with the world
Nations come through friendship with blended
Standing in the eyes of the world

Our buildings reach the highest peak
Our bridge stretch through the Straits
Thus submerging the truth that we are not weak
But as one of the nations that are great

Behind of such a great nation
Stands a leader prominent among men
Guiding and teaching with connection
We must not be in no man’s land

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!
Is the cry portraying freedom
Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!
Is deep within our hearts column

We relish the price of freedom
But do we know how much is it?
We live in the result of independence
But how much do we treasure it?

Poetry Effect

2005-08-18T03:43:00.000+08:00

Word rhyming, expressing moods and emotions, inspirational phrases, 'hidden-meaning' story telling...
are among the many reasons why people write poetry.
Different people from different walks of life may have a similar interest in poetry but it does not conclude that all their heart-warming/heart-sickening works pay the same tribute towards the vast world of poetry.

Mainly because poetry has a wide context in the area of language as well as the identity of the poet. A poem can visually dictate a deep understanding of a person's character or even a personal opinion. I may be wrong but there are times when an inspiring event can get those creative poetry juices going despite the fact whether the poem actually relates to the poet personally or otherwise.

Seems rather vague or perhaps clear cut to some. Then again, I guess it takes all kinds of experiences as well as how we actually view the world around us that plays a big role in a person's work of poetry. One may only dwell solely on the assumption that the world is nothing but depressing. While another may look towards the brighter and more positive side of life.
What about those days when one may just feel all frustrated and messed up but still keep a smile on their face? Or when things don't turn out as planned therefore resulting in lost thoughts eventually succumbing to negative pressure?

The above examples are only 1 out of infinite reasons as to how a person may view life and create a personal illustration. This current issue is important in a person's creative work because it impacts others who may have a similar perception. That is when we consciously find ourselves relating so intimately with a certain poem or other works of art. It is something quite like a mutual understanding between the poet and the reader.

It is truly a wonder how a personal opinion turned into artwork can create such significance within a friend's life. Maybe even a stranger.
So, to all those who have got art talents especially... Use them wisely! You'll never know who and how you may impress someone's heart/thoughts through this extraordinary tool!

Seems all bright and sunny

2005-08-16T16:07:00.000+08:00

Despite the haze... well, there is still a gloomy look in the sky.. but my day today seems a little brighter.. And that is a pretty good sign.. =)
After such an event yesterday, I'm glad things are turning out better today.. I can't particularly say that I have managed to finally move on normally without my friend's presence physically.. but I dare say,

Situation Status : Progressing towards improvement.

Which I am very proud and glad for myself.. Sounds rather 'perasan' huh? Well, whatever it is... at least I'm heading the right path. I've learned to look on the positive side and reasons for my friend's departure. YAY!

My dear friend has left.....gone....... =(

2005-08-16T01:10:00.000+08:00

Tossing and turning on the bed, trying so hard not to think so much about the fact that my friend is leaving.. my dear friend.. known him for almost 16 years.. can you believe it? 16 Years!! That is a pretty long time.. anyway, got up early in the morning after only sleeping for 1 hour.. started to get ready to write my final letter for my friend. As I was writing, I couldn't help but think of all the times we shared together since out childhood days till the present. I still remember so clearly, how we used to be playmates and often did really crazy stuff together..
Speaking of how time flies.... in just a blink of an eye, 16 years have passed right before my eyes.. I really thank God for him and all that he has done which has impacted my life in different ways.. If I were to list every single memory I have, I think I could write a book..
Moving on, after I finished writing the letter.. I followed my parents to go on our journey to the airport.. Even as I pass the nostalgic places in Penang so to speak, I can just picture the things we did and stories we shared...
Finally, we reached the Penang International Airport car park. As I took a silent walk with my mum to the doors of the arrival hall and head a level higher to the departure hall... the climaxed feeling suddenly struck me..

"My friend is leaving for the USA. He's leaving Penang for the next 4 years..."

I couldn't help myself as tears well up in my eyes.. I quickly wiped the tears and told myself to control my emotions.. sounds pretty silly huh.. anyway, then I caught a glimpse of my friend.. sitting at the table, having his breakfast with his parents.. I was too speechless to say anything so I just smiled to acknowledge his presence.. The next few minutes were quite awkward.. I didn't what to say or do.. Then came the whole gang of fellow friends..
We spent the next half hour cracking up jokes, keeping ourselves happy, took pictures and gave cards and anything else to our friend.. and then he handed me a thank you note too.
Then came the final countdown. The hugs and handshakes as well as words..
It looked pretty formal as we were lining up, in a way.. to say our goodbyes.. (notice I didn't say last goodbyes? cause I still believe we will be seeing him)
Anyway, one by one everyone took their turn... then came, MY TURN..
Argh.. how I wish I never came to the airport that moment and how I wish he never had to leave.. but, the time has come.. so I said my goodbyes in our own special wacky way and gave a hug... Tears welled up in my eyes again...
I began to tell myself, " This can't be true, my close friend cannot be leaving Penang.."
As I dread in my 'loss' and continued to watch him hug the rest of the people..
I just became silent.

The walk to the departure gate was the worst... It's always the worst... then, watching him lining up at the immigration counters to check in.. it all sank in... every thought that came to my mind next involved him. As I sang softly to myself one of the songs he composed, I managed to calm myself down..
Then, someone had to just say it.. I knew it was coming sooner or later...

"Imagine, no more Joel for the next 4 years... week after week..."

Talk about calming myself down.. imaginations of his missing presence came to mind..
For all the times and things I depend on him for.. and stuff we happily converse together... There I go again... =(
After he checked in, all of us waved our arms frantically to bid our dear friend farewell.
I dare say, most of us left with a heavy heart.. but we looked on the brighter side that he will be leaving to further his studies and learn to be independant... =)

So, if you're reading this my friend...

"Work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord not for men".

what a week!

2005-08-14T00:24:00.000+08:00

Exhausted... lack of sleep... practically brain dead.
After so much work done and rushing to complete a video for my dearest friend, Joel Chan.. It has been a very tiring week both physically and emotionally.. I have to admit, I neglected my schedules this past one week.. and that was a very lousy thing to do. but anyway, after all the fuss and plannings for Joel's farewell.. we managed to pull off quite a good one. Other than the usual aspects of farewell speeches, songs, video presentation (the one I did with a friend), and our very own Joel's farewell speech.. ended with a final cliche, "FRIENDS" song... which got almost everyone sniffing, sobbing and crying.. This really shows how dear our friends are to all of us.. Well, I suppose there is a time to meet and a time to leave.. it's just WHEN the time will be.. I wonder when will I be leaving Penang..?? hmmm... :)

Madness!

2005-08-04T01:56:00.000+08:00

Fuh! Madness... Literally madness...studies, studies and more studies..
What more can I speak about almost every day if not for studies? It basically revolves around my duty as a student and not forgetting my own future.. not speaking as if the future is in my hands, but yea, I suppose hard work will pay off in due time. With devastating results, I hope to strive to improve more. Seriously, setting realistic goals is a really good motivation method. I've got only a month plus more before my trials. Revising the brains out of me at home, still dealing with a really lousy concentration span. I hope that God will really see me through this 'stressful' time of mine. Wait, that was an understatement! Let me rephrase that, God WILL definitely see me through this time of difficulty.

"Commit your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3"

Fear within

2005-08-01T01:10:00.000+08:00

It surrounds
It haunts
There is no way to erase it
There is no memory of the good

As it slithers around
Circling my boundaries
Just waiting for the opportunities
Whispering and murmuring softly
While walking the lonely path
Of the dreadful past
Taking each step fearfully

Insanity increases
Faith decreases
Deteriorating and decaying
Like a dead man's body

Wandering, aimlessly
The inability to comprehend
Reality and fantasy
The inability to control
The mind, soul and body

Temptations in every corner
With no strength to cover
And in a split second,
There it goes,
All that has ever been strived for
All of it vanishes

It vanishes,
Into the dry and hazy air
All hopes and dreams
Visions of imaginary scenes

Try to forget
Try to distract
But all effort is in vain
It does no use to the sane

Struggling to move on
Using every deed done
As a painful lesson to learn
To avoid all risks of ever being conned

Intolerable, unmanageable
Like a beast within
That screams for attention
To stumble the stable

Seeking the Most High
Not with a smile but a deep sigh
As the situation is trouble
all the more it saddens my Father in heaven
"My beloved child, why do you not believe in Me?
Why do you doubt my powers, my concern and lose heart?"
For with God all things are possible
and it shall be as so.