I'm Gonna Be A Good Friend!
The title pretty much sums up what my mission is at this present point and in the future as well. As I've mentioned in my previous post, this topic on being a good friend deserves my full attention... So sit tight, as I take you on this crucial journey in everyone's life!
Friends. What is it that comes to your mind when I mention the word, "Friends" ?
Take a moment to think about it.
Perhaps,
your close buddy?
school classmates?
college mates?
church friends?
accountability partner?
sibling?
parents?
the TV series?
Hmmm... or could it be....
Loyalty?
Maturity?
Supportive?
Loving?
Caring?
Great personality?
Non-judgemental?
Understanding?
Trust?
Respect?
A great sense of humour?
Openness and honesty?
Compatibility?
What is it that comes to our minds when think of OUR friends?
How do WE treat OUR friends?
Do we treat them with the qualities mentioned above?
Or the total opposite?
One of the things that first came to my mind was the relationship between David and Jonathan.
David and Jonathan are what one might call "perfect brothers" - there is a deep sense of commitment to each other, and a strong sense of love between these two men. There is complete trust present; both are open and honest with each other, and each displays unselfish commitment to the other.
This is not homosexuality; it is a deep friendship where the two are essentially "soul-mates". 1 Samuel 18:1 tells us that "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul", and again in verse 3: "Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul"
Their friendship was not affected in any way by the fact that David would be the next king. Jonathan not only recognises and respects this, but encourages David when he humbly pledges his loyalty to David. "And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armour, even to his sword and his bow and his belt." (1 Samuel 18:4.)
I would say that the main qualities that describe a good friend are loyalty, trust, respect, sincerity, companionship, reliability, love, openness and honesty.
Faithfulness is also a very good quality, as is the ability to listen.
I remember a definition of listening I heard once is,
"Not thinking what you're going to say when the other person has stopped talking".
A sense of fun and humour is also important, as is the need to make time for each other. To simply be myself when I'm with friends, and not feel that they are trying to change me into something or someone I'm not. I'd like to think that I don't manipulate my friends in that manner either!
I find myself sometimes supporting my friends through a crisis, and when it's my turn to have a crisis, they are usually there for me also. This all serves to strengthen the friendship.
Unselfishness and mutual understanding are also very important, and usually good friends will be compatible with each other.
I believe it is also important to honour our words we give to our friends as much as it is possible for us to do so. This does not mean we make rash promises though! Shared or common experiences can often have a "binding" effect on two people. As Christians we can pray for our friends, and all of us can offer support in times of trouble.
But, what about when one of you does something wrong and the other needs to issue a rebuke for it? Are we going to be strong enough to tell a close dear friend off? Or are we going to let them seemingly get away with it (for the sake of preserving the friendship)?
Restoration should always be done in love, never with an attitude of vindictiveness. Strong friendships will be able to take and receive rebukings, apologies and forgiveness will be on offer all round, and the friendship can continue with that incident put away firmly into the past, where it belongs having been sorted out first (and not glossed over).
This is not daydreaming or wishful thinking; however both parties may need to work at the resolution and talk things through in an attempt to come to an understanding of the other's position, and this may well take time in some cases.
The test of a friendship isn't that nothing ever goes wrong between you, but what you both do when something does go wrong!
I feel you know where you stand with people who possess these qualities:
think of any good friend you have and ask yourself,
"Why are we such good friends?"
and the chances are you'll find a good number of these qualities present.
Now, that we know what is important, it's never too late to work on the specific areas to keep our friendships STRONG!
"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in Unity! ... For there the Lord commanded the blessing - Life forevermore" (Psalm 133:1, 3b).
Friends. What is it that comes to your mind when I mention the word, "Friends" ?
Take a moment to think about it.
Perhaps,
your close buddy?
school classmates?
college mates?
church friends?
accountability partner?
sibling?
parents?
the TV series?
Hmmm... or could it be....
Loyalty?
Maturity?
Supportive?
Loving?
Caring?
Great personality?
Non-judgemental?
Understanding?
Trust?
Respect?
A great sense of humour?
Openness and honesty?
Compatibility?
What is it that comes to our minds when think of OUR friends?
How do WE treat OUR friends?
Do we treat them with the qualities mentioned above?
Or the total opposite?
One of the things that first came to my mind was the relationship between David and Jonathan.
David and Jonathan are what one might call "perfect brothers" - there is a deep sense of commitment to each other, and a strong sense of love between these two men. There is complete trust present; both are open and honest with each other, and each displays unselfish commitment to the other.
This is not homosexuality; it is a deep friendship where the two are essentially "soul-mates". 1 Samuel 18:1 tells us that "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul", and again in verse 3: "Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul"
Their friendship was not affected in any way by the fact that David would be the next king. Jonathan not only recognises and respects this, but encourages David when he humbly pledges his loyalty to David. "And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armour, even to his sword and his bow and his belt." (1 Samuel 18:4.)
I would say that the main qualities that describe a good friend are loyalty, trust, respect, sincerity, companionship, reliability, love, openness and honesty.
Faithfulness is also a very good quality, as is the ability to listen.
I remember a definition of listening I heard once is,
"Not thinking what you're going to say when the other person has stopped talking".
A sense of fun and humour is also important, as is the need to make time for each other. To simply be myself when I'm with friends, and not feel that they are trying to change me into something or someone I'm not. I'd like to think that I don't manipulate my friends in that manner either!
I find myself sometimes supporting my friends through a crisis, and when it's my turn to have a crisis, they are usually there for me also. This all serves to strengthen the friendship.
Unselfishness and mutual understanding are also very important, and usually good friends will be compatible with each other.
I believe it is also important to honour our words we give to our friends as much as it is possible for us to do so. This does not mean we make rash promises though! Shared or common experiences can often have a "binding" effect on two people. As Christians we can pray for our friends, and all of us can offer support in times of trouble.
But, what about when one of you does something wrong and the other needs to issue a rebuke for it? Are we going to be strong enough to tell a close dear friend off? Or are we going to let them seemingly get away with it (for the sake of preserving the friendship)?
Restoration should always be done in love, never with an attitude of vindictiveness. Strong friendships will be able to take and receive rebukings, apologies and forgiveness will be on offer all round, and the friendship can continue with that incident put away firmly into the past, where it belongs having been sorted out first (and not glossed over).
This is not daydreaming or wishful thinking; however both parties may need to work at the resolution and talk things through in an attempt to come to an understanding of the other's position, and this may well take time in some cases.
The test of a friendship isn't that nothing ever goes wrong between you, but what you both do when something does go wrong!
I feel you know where you stand with people who possess these qualities:
think of any good friend you have and ask yourself,
"Why are we such good friends?"
and the chances are you'll find a good number of these qualities present.
Now, that we know what is important, it's never too late to work on the specific areas to keep our friendships STRONG!
"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in Unity! ... For there the Lord commanded the blessing - Life forevermore" (Psalm 133:1, 3b).
posted by Caroliner @ 10:51 AM
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